Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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