She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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