I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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