My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
