i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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