What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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