Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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