These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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