dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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