Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
