very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
