I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
