u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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