I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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