return my video game
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
