Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
