woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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