Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
