You're so nebulous sometimes
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
