Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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