You don't have asthma, your pregnant
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
