everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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