this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
