i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
