you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
