I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
