i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How does one acquire holy water?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
