i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
