I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
