I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
