**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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