did you get engaged???
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
