then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this just has baby written all over it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
