She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
