Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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