i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My liver just broke up with me...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
