You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You smell like stripper and shame
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
