I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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