i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
