There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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