How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Jerry, you need to find god
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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