I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's shark week go big or go home
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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