i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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