Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
