I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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