Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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