the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
