i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
