Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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