Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
