Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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