Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
