a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
