How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
