a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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